


Sailing the Stars

by VestalVirgin



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode: s03e15 Coda, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 22:37:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VestalVirgin/pseuds/VestalVirgin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every J/C fan eventually writes a Lake George story.  At the end of the episode "Coda," Janeway  invites Chakotay for a moonlit sail.  This story is my take on what happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Star Trek: Voyager and the characters are the property of Paramount. The events in this story and any errors are entirely mine.

The turbolift doors slid open, and Captain Janeway stepped into the corridor. “I’ll meet you on Holodeck 2 in ten minutes,” she told Chakotay. “I’ll bring the champagne.” She had a grin on her face that he had thought he would never see again, and his own face lit up.

Chakotay entered his quarters and quickly searched for appropriate “sailing” clothes. He settled on a pair of khaki slacks and a white shirt, deciding to go casual by leaving the top three buttons unfastened. _Too much? No, it was okay. Was it?_ He couldn’t decide, and finally, in frustration, just left the buttons as they were and headed for the door. He refused to be late because of a shirt!

Chakotay reached the holodeck first. “Computer,” he instructed, “begin program Lake George, night sailing, automated vessel.”

“Please specify size of sailing vessel.”

“Two-person occupancy,” Chakotay responded. He stepped through the doors and stopped to take in the surroundings. The program resembled the lake he had played in as a child. Trees lined a sandy pathway to the edge of the water. A perfectly placed, full Earth moon softly lit the area and shined on the polished surface of the water. He followed the trail and spied a wooden dock with a small blue-and-white sail boat moored to the posts. As he started toward the boat, he also noticed a clearing off to the right with a log cabin perched on a slight rise. The cabin was small, more like a fishing hut than a vacation home, but it was quaint and fit the scenery perfectly.

Chakotay stopped halfway to the dock, wanting to stay within eyesight of the holodeck entrance so the Captain could find him when she entered. Just as he turned to look back up the path, the doors slid open and she walked in. His eyes went wide for a moment, just a moment, before he collected himself. _Gods, she was beautiful!_

Janeway had chosen to wear all white. She had on trousers, fitted at the waist and hips but loose and flowing in the legs for ease of movement. The white blouse was a thin, silky material that slid over her curves before tucking neatly into her waistband. Her shoes were a shiny, flat loafer, the tapered toes barely peaking from under the wide legs of her slacks. She had taken her hair down from its usual tight, regulation chignon and pinned back just the front wisps with a simple, gold barrette. The soft moonlight danced and played off her auburn tresses, which created an almost aural glow around her. Her lips were tinted pink, and the flush in her face told Chakotay that she was excited about trying out the program. He just hoped he could push away the distraction of her enough not to dump them both in the water! Surely, the safety protocols wouldn’t let that happen.

Chakotay called out to her and waved his hand. “Here, Captain! Are you ready to launch?” She walked down the sandy trail, taking note of the cabin as she passed. She stood gazing at the water for a moment and then assessed the sail boat.

Janeway reached his side and smiled at him as they walked together the rest of way to the dock. She was first on the pier and easily hopped onto the boat. Chakotay could tell she was an experienced sailor and used to being on the water. Was there anything his Captain wasn’t good at? Well, besides cooking. Somehow, he doubted it. The woman had proven time and again that she had a natural command of everything. Including him.

“Well, Captain, what do you think?” he asked her.

Janeway turned to face him, tilting her head slightly, and said, “I think you should call me Kathryn. At least while we are here.”

She smiled at him again, the twinkle in her eye letting Chakotay know that she was decidedly off duty and ready to relax. “Alright, Kathryn,” he said. “I took the liberty of choosing an automated vessel. It would be difficult to enjoy a champagne picnic while manning the sail.”

“A picnic?” she asked.

“I put together a basket for us. Fresh fruit, bread and cheese; nothing fancy.”

She glanced at the basket. “It sounds perfect. I’m not much good at ‘fancy’ anyway,” she laughed.

The music of her jollity nearly made him stumble, but he caught himself. “I guess I need to get my sea legs,” he chuckled. Just hours ago he had been crying her name in anguish, watching the life slip from her body. To have her here with him, relaxed and eager for adventure on the lake, was a shock to his system. Chakotay had learned to keep a tight rein on his emotions, striving for a professional distance from her to maintain the Commander-to-Captain relationship she demanded. He was finding that distance narrowing in on him and the feelings much harder to control.

Chakotay took a deep breath and began laying out a blanket on the deck of the boat. Kathryn leaned over the stern railing and untied the knot holding the small craft to the dock. He stole a quick glance at her and had to immediately look away again. Yes, his self-discipline would be taxed to its limits tonight!

An offshore breeze was blowing, and as soon as the knot was loose, the boat drifted away from its anchoring and began on a slow circuit of the water. Kathryn sat on the blanket across from Chakotay and folded her legs under her. He opened the champagne and poured them both a glass.

“Are you hungry, yet?” he asked her.

“No,” she sighed. “I just want to enjoy the ride for a while.” She twirled the stem of her glass in her hands, staring off across the water over his shoulder and attempting to gather her thoughts.

“It was so real, Chakotay!” she cried in a sudden outburst. “As hard as I fought against what was happening to me, I watched myself die. Over and over again! I saw my own funeral. I felt the grief of the crew as they prepared to move on without me.”

As abruptly as she had started, she now quieted. “I cannot help but wonder. Is that really what it would be like if I died, or was that just one of many scenarios the alien might have shown me to get me to stop resisting him?” She looked him full in the face, the confusion and worry evident in her features. “Have I lived my own death?”

Chakotay knew he couldn’t answer that question for her. Kathryn had to work through it in her own mind and find her own way to cope as she always did. He could only be whatever she needed right now, and if that meant letting her dark blue eyes roam his face, his strength, the life within him, without reaction, then he would give her that. He steeled himself to remain serene for her.

Kathryn saw the softening of his jawline and knew he was struggling to give her what he could. He was strong and sure, and she trusted him implicitly. Her trust was not something Kathryn gave readily, and rarely ever completely. But she knew him to be honorable, almost noble, and without question she believed Chakotay could hold Voyager, its crew, and her own life in his capable hands without fail. He had already proven her that many times over.

Kathryn felt the stirring in her heart of the feelings she had for him. Yes, she did feel for him deeply. Until now, she had locked away those emotions in a remote corner of her mind. Her crew, and her promise to get them home no matter how long the journey took, were the driving forces of her life on Voyager. She would allow nothing and no one to get in her way. Did that include Chakotay, she wondered. Would he be in the way after everything we have been through together? He shares the same dogged determination as I do to see the Alpha Quadrant again. Is it possible we could be more than Captain and Commander and still keep Voyager first?

It was too much for Kathryn to process right now. She was here with him to forget her duties for a while, not to decide the fate of their futures. Whatever was happening, she wanted desperately to just let it happen and leave the big questions for another day. The only decision that mattered right now was the one she planted firmly in the front of her thoughts: she would celebrate life and take this one night for herself.

Chakotay noticed the faraway look on her face. She was no longer seeing him, but some part of herself he couldn’t reach. His concern evident in his voice, he asked, “Kathryn? Are you alright?”

She brought her focus back to him and gave him a shy smile. “I’m sorry. I guess I was lost in my thoughts for a moment.”

He relaxed again and shot her a half-grin, the corner of his mouth curling upward and the eyebrow below his tribal mark rising slightly.

Kathryn needed a moment more to weigh her decision about him. Trying to distract Chakotay, she waved her right hand to the side as she said, “I know you grew up around a lake like this. I assume your people were very skilled at anything to do with boats.”

Chakotay looked around him at the simulated wilderness and felt a little homesick. “Yes,” he sighed, “It was very much like this. My sister and I spent countless hours in the water when we were kids. My grandfather taught me everything from how to sail to how to build a canoe. Maybe I’ll start using this program more often.”

Chakotay saw they had reached the approximate center of the water. To their right, the shore of the lake was visible as a darker line leading to the trees; to their left was open water to the horizon and the low, large full moon. “Computer,” he commanded, “halt vessel.”

The small boat slowed and came to a stop. The breeze that had been filling the sail began to die down. “It is beautiful here,” he told Kathryn. “I thought we could just drift and take in the scenery for a while.”

“I’m sure Mr. Paris could program in a lagoon creature or two for you, if you like,” Kathryn teased.

Chakotay grinned at her and shook his head. “No, that’s okay.” Suddenly his smile vanished and his voice softened. “I’ve had enough of uninvited life forms for a while.”

He looked at Kathryn with such intensity that she remembered again how broken he had been when she lay dying on that cave floor after their shuttle crash. Chakotay had done everything in his power to breathe life back into her, but the alien presence invading Kathryn’s brain had kept her at death’s door. He looked so wounded, even now, that she reached over to him and placed her hand on top of his.

“It’s okay, Chakotay,” she whispered. “I’m here. _We_ are here, together. You didn’t lose me.”

Chakotay heard her soft words, and something in the timbre of her voice told him that she wasn’t just comforting him. She was telling him something, something important. He turned his hand over under hers and grasped her fingers. He searched her eyes, hoping to find that he was right, that they were together in a way different from anything she had allowed before. Together as they should have been on New Earth.

Kathryn stared back into him, willing him to see what she was trying to say. She opened her heart and her mind to Chakotay, even that corner where she had so carefully and deeply buried her emotions toward him. She wanted him to know what she had been hiding all along but wasn’t ready to voice to him yet. She wanted him to understand that, for this night at least, she was totally and completely his. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks, and a subtle heat that she hadn’t allowed herself in a very long time stole through her body as she entwined her fingers with his.


	2. Chapter 2

Chakotay sat perfectly still as he felt Kathryn’s hand lock with his.  All doubts of her feelings for him fled his mind, chased out by the lightning bolt of her touch.  He felt the pressure of her fingers increase, her palm lining up with his.  Her hands were small and delicate, but oh, so strong!  He had felt those hands clasp his shoulder or pat his arm in friendship, as many of the crew had.  Kathryn was a tactile person and often expressed her support through brief gestures.  How many times had he stolen a glance at…

The voice through Kathryn’s com badge startled both of them.  Kathryn snatched her hand back instinctually, her years of training and discipline snapping her to attention.  Spine ramrod straight, shoulders squared, jaw clenched, she responded to the call from the bridge.

“What is it, Mr. Kim?”

“Captain, engineering is reporting a minor problem with a gel pack causing power fluctuations on Deck 7.  Repairs are underway, but we will need to reroute emergency power briefly.”

“Proceed,” Kathryn instructed him.  She glanced quickly at Chakotay and spoke again.  “And, Mr. Kim.  Please route all further communication to Commander Tuvok until 0600 hours.”

“Captain?” The surprise was evident in the ensign’s voice.

Her request was highly unusual, and Kathryn knew her explanation had better be a good one.  In her best command do-it voice, she replied, “Mr. Kim – I have very recently been in a shuttle crash, sustained severe neural trauma, and cheated death at the hands of some alien afterlife gatekeeper.  I have decided to follow the Doctor’s orders, _this time_ , and take it easy for a few hours.”

“Of course, Captain.”  Kim’s sheepish reply indicated she had at least been believable.

“I will see you on the bridge at 0700,” Kathryn stated.  She paused for a moment before continuing her communications.  “Janeway to Tuvok.”

“I am here, Captain,” Tuvok answered.

“Mr. Tuvok, I have instructed the bridge to route all further communications to you for the evening.”

“A wise decision, Captain, considering your recent ordeal,” Tuvok stated.  “Long range sensors have revealed nothing out of the ordinary.  At this time, I do not foresee any difficulties that would require your attention.  I will, of course, inform you should any emergency arise.”

“Thank you, Mr. Tuvok.  Janeway out.” 

Kathryn began to visibly relax, but then tensed abruptly again.  Chakotay had moved away from her slightly while she was in communication with the bridge.  He had also slipped back into “Commander” mode and was waiting for her lead.  Kathryn knew that if she was going to have this night go the way she wished it to, she would have to make the first move. 

She hesitated, afraid that she might make that move and be rebuffed.  What would she do if he didn’t want her?  Could she face him again if she crossed that line only to find him unwilling to cross it with her?  Perhaps living her own demise was _not_ the worst thing that would happen to her this day.

Chakotay watched her hesitation and something else – fear? – play across her face.  She was Kathryn again, and he let his Commander façade slip away.  He moved closer to her, picked up her hand in his, and wound his fingers through hers.  “Is this where we were?” he quietly asked. 

Kathryn’s relief was evident and she smiled at him. “Yes, we were, weren’t we?” His grip lent her the strength she needed to give her last command of the night.  Staring into his eyes, she proceeded.  “Computer, seal Holodeck 2 to all crew members except myself and Commander Chakotay.  Authorization Janeway-beta-four.” 

“Holodeck 2 has been sealed.”

_It is done_ , Kathryn thought to herself.  Whatever was about to happen, there was no turning back. 

Chakotay’s eyes widened when she sealed the doors.  He had not wanted to let himself believe she was moving into another area of their relationship.  He had dreamed of it for so long, and held it at bay for so long, that his mind was still trying to process the changes in her.  His desire did not take long to fully surface, though, and his carefully constructed walls crumbled to dust.  He wanted to kiss her; needed to kiss her, to touch her, to feel her, to claim her.

He leaned slowly across the small space separating them, allowing Kathryn time to move away if she chose to.  _Please Gods, don’t let her move away!_   His left hand still entwined with hers, he touched her cheek with his right hand and slid his fingers under her ear to the back of her neck.  He pulled her to him and softly touched his lips to hers.  She pressed into him gently then broke the contact.  She hovered there for a microsecond before touching his lips with hers again, this time lingering in a longer, but still chaste, kiss. 

She broke off again, and her gaze dropped to the space between them.  She needed to explain to him what her actions meant.  She owed him that much, to let him know that she had no idea if this was a one-night concession or leading to something more permanent.  “Chakotay,” she whispered.  “I don’t know…  If we do this…  I’m not sure…”  She sighed heavily.

He gently placed his finger over her lips.  “Shhh.  I know.”

She glanced up at him and asked softly, “You know what?”

“I know you are struggling with what is happening here.  I know you are allowing yourself something if only for a brief moment.  I know that tomorrow morning at 0600 hours we will be once again Captain and Commander.  I know _you_ and that we will always be Captain and Commander above all else.  I also know that I am okay with that.  Are you?”

Kathryn’s eyes lit up and she nodded her head, her hair falling over one shoulder.  “You do know me, don’t you?”

“I want to know you more,” he told her, his voice growing husky with his need.  Kathryn dropped his hand, rose up onto her knees, and wrapped her arms around his neck.  He grabbed her waist and stole a glance at her full breasts.  He longed to lower his head and press tiny kisses down the cleavage hovering just under his chin.  But no, too soon.  He lifted his chin instead, watching her bend down to him, her long tresses sliding over him. 

This time, she put her full weight into pressing her soft mouth to his.  Her lips parted slightly and he darted the tip of his tongue between them.  He found her tongue with his and slowly circled it.  Over and over again he dove into the heat of her mouth until neither of them could breathe.  They broke away, both of them gasping heavily, her breasts rising and falling against him, his hands sliding from her waist to the small of her back, pulling her to him even tighter. 

It was only a kiss, and already Chakotay could feel the heat in his manhood growing urgent.  He looked into her face and nearly lost it.  Kathryn’s eyes had darkened to a deep blue sea, her cheeks flushed.  He knew his own hunger was readily evident to her, as well.  He felt her body lowering as she straddled her legs over his, settling into his lap.  There was no way to hide his hardness with her sitting over him like that.  He felt her brush against him, pause, and then thrust ever so lightly.  He sucked in his breath sharply as he heard a soft moan escape her throat.  “Kathryn…”

She covered his mouth with hers, this time using her tongue to tease him, circling his lips before thrusting hard between his teeth.  She began to rock in his lap, pushing her heat against his in an urgent dance of desires too long denied.  He was lost to her, the fire engulfing his body and a sweet tingling running from his finger tips to his toes.  Without thinking, he used his grip around her to bring her sharply against him once, then again, and again.  Oh Gods, he was losing control!

He pulled his lips from hers and gasped.  “Kathryn, wait!”  He gripped her hips and pushed against her.  It took a moment for his words and the abrupt end of the kiss to register.  She stilled suddenly and the fear overtook her again.

“I’m sorry,” she panted, shaking her head.  “I shouldn’t have…”

“No, Kathryn.  It’s not that.  I…” What could he say? “I couldn’t… too close…” He fumbled over the words, his voice ragged, embarrassment at his lack of control sending a blush through him.  She saw his neck redden and finally understood. 

“Oh,” she giggled.  He looked at her and she flashed him a grin.  She teased him, raking her eyes slowly down his body to the hardness straining against his pants, then back up to his face again.  Her voice deepened.  “I see.” 

He smiled up at her, amused by her play.  “Kathryn, it has been so long.  I have wanted this, us, to happen for so long.  Now that we are here together like this, my tenuous control is gone.  Gods, Kathryn, I need you so badly!”

She moved her feet under her and slowly stood.  It was torturous for her, too.  She felt as if one touch, just one simple play against her white heat, would send her over the edge.  It was all she could do not to take his hand and guide him there.  Instead, she stepped to the railing of the small boat and looked at the moonlight on the water.  “Let’s go for a swim!”  She twirled back around to him and lifted her eyebrow playfully, challenging him with hands on hips. 

He laughed at her and started to rise.  The uncomfortable pressure across his lower stomach reminded him of his predicament.  He couldn’t just stand up and face her!  He stopped in a crouch and wondered what to do now.

Kathryn stepped back to him, her hips swaying in the white slacks, her breasts straining against the silky material of her top.  Hers was a quiet sensuality.  Most of the time, she appeared larger than life, her iron will, disciplined command, and sharp mind filling a room with her presence.  In brief moments, though, he caught small glimpses of the Kathryn that made his breath stop in his throat.  A tilt of her head, a smile that lit up her face, a playful twinkle in her eye – she would suddenly transform into the most beautiful woman in the world.  Chakotay was powerless against those tiny jolts that quickened him.  Those were the moments that kept him bound to her and trapped his heart.

She slid her hands across his shoulders, lightly down his arms, and took his hands in hers.  She tugged upward and he finally stood, his inhibitions slipping away.  “I didn’t bring swim shorts,” he told her, “or a change of clothes.” 

She let his hands drop and leaned to whisper in his ear, her voice a throaty purr, “Neither did I.”  She began unbuttoning his shirt, letting her fingertips brush lightly against his heated skin.  When she undid the last one, she placed both palms on him and slid them across his chest, guiding the shirt off his shoulders to slip down his arms to the deck. 

She kissed him again, ever so softly, and slowly pulled the hem of her own blouse from the confines of her waistband.  Chakotay reached out and replaced her hands with his.  He wanted to undress her, to feel the silk of her shirt and of the skin underneath it.  He raised the material higher and higher until the mounds of her breasts were free.  He couldn’t bear it any longer.  He jerked the blouse over her head, away from her arms, and tossed it to the side.  He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, his lips finding the line between her skin and the lace of her camisole.  He traced that line with a long, slow slide of his tongue until he felt the tiny goose bumps rise on her pale flesh.  Satisfied with that one, he moved to the other breast and repeated his ministrations. 

Kathryn leaned her head back as she felt his mouth on her skin.  She sucked in her breath, pushing her breasts into his tongue as her hands tangled in his hair.  Electric tingles ran through and over her entire body.  When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she reached for the straps of her camisole to pull it off.  Chakotay stopped her with his hands.  He licked a slow line up her breast bone, along the curve of her neck, and to her earlobe.  He slowly turned her around until her back was to him.  Only then did he gather the lacy material in his hands and slowly pull it over her head to land in a pile with her shirt. 

He was tall enough that he could see over her shoulder to the tops of her breasts, the hardened nipples just visible to him.  He wrapped his arms around her again, cupping a hand around each mound of flesh, lightly pinching the nipples between his fingers.  He pulled her against him, wanting to feel her bare back against his skin.  She let out a small whimper and reached back over her head.  Her hands found his head and pulled it down to her neck.  Chakotay sucked in the soft flesh below her ear and darted the tip of his tongue across the sensitive spot.  He alternately stroked and pinched her nipples, grasping and squeezing her fullness. 

With one hand, Kathryn held his head to that place under her earlobe that drove her wild, her fingers massaging through his hair.  The other hand dropped to the side and found the strong muscle of his thigh tensed and powerful as she leaned against him.  She realized that in those few stolen moments when she allowed herself to think of him, especially since leaving New Earth, she had never come close the white heat that consumed her now.  There had always been a lingering sadness to those thoughts.  They were images of what might have been, and what had been left behind, rather than what could be.  Now that sadness was gone and nothing remained but an ache at the center of her being that cried out for him to fill it. 

“Ahh!”  The moan escaped her at the same time she used the arm around Chakotay’s thigh to thrust him against her.  Her hips writhed in small circles, feeling the heat from his bare chest against the skin of her back, the hardness still trapped in his pants teasing her.  Now she was the one fighting for control.  Every nerve in her body was alive and straining to release the fire between her legs. 

She felt his fingers slip from one of her breasts and slide under the band of her slacks.  “Chakotay!” she cried.  Her hand untangled from his hair and grabbed at his, stopping him just above the little center that would send her over the edge.  “Please, Chakotay,” she whimpered to him. 

He gave one more, tiny flick of his tongue on her throat and then blew gently into her ear.  “Let go, Kathryn,” he growled softly in her ear.  “Let it go.”  His hand was still poised just above her heat, and he pushed gently against her.

Her voice shook and he felt a tremor run through her body.  “I want to.  Oh, how I want to,” she moaned. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, his hot breath playing softly over her ear.  He felt her rock back against him again, rubbing her body along his.  She still held his hand back, though, that last thread of her strength clinging to sanity.  He placed his other hand over hers and pulled it away.  He guided it behind it her and between their bodies until he felt her fingers brush against the hardness in his pants.  She gasped as she gripped him, feeling his desire strain against her touch.  She lightly scratched her fingernails over the material, following the line to his tip then back down the shaft.  The tiny vibrations were nearly his own undoing and he pinned her hand between them, feeling her fingers squeeze around him. 

Kathryn felt his desire against her hand and knew she had never wanted anyone more than she wanted him right now.  They were both too far gone, though.  She wanted their lovemaking to be slow, exploring each other and the feelings they had been denying themselves for so long.  But if she took him in her now, it would be only a frenzied moment before they both lost control.  She needed release now and could feel that he did, too.  Only then would they be free to truly share in each other.  She lay her head back against his shoulder and tilted her hips, inviting him to find her.

She felt his hand gently slide lower, his fingers working under the lace of her panties.  He ran his hand along the length of her opening, feeling her wetness.  His own sex jumped in her palm and she slowly squeezed and released him through the material.  He slipped a finger inside her, feeling how tight she was.  He slid into her as far as he could once, then again, and then traced the line of her back up to the tiny button.  He barely touched it and she nearly crumpled in his arms.  He set his legs and took her weight against him, then lightly brushed her center again. 

“Yes,” she hissed.  Her hips thrust upward, her eyes squeezed shut, and she gave herself completely to him.  He stroked her sex, quickening his fingers and using the small sounds escaping her throat to guide him.  He entered her again and pushed upward, pressing against the soft tissue just inside her opening.  She rode his hand and whimpered her need to him.  He felt her tightening around his fingers and knew she was close.  Once more, he slid his fingers from her and up to her button.  “Ahh!”  Her voice was urgent, sharp, and he stroked her faster and faster.  

“Let go, Kathryn.  For me,” he groaned.  He felt every muscle in her frame tighten, her fingers squeezing around his shaft, her back arching, her head pushing into his chest.  Suddenly, she shuddered against him and her body convulsed, her voice crying out, “Oh, Chakotay!”  He thrust two fingers inside her and held them there, feeling her climax ripple around them over and over again.  He remained that way, holding her up in his strong arms until her trembling slowed and she took some of her weight back on her own legs.   

She gently eased his hand from her slacks and turned in his arms.  She had never experienced a release so powerful and her head still reeled, bringing tears to her eyes.  She gazed up at him and wanted to tell him, but all she could do was whisper his name.  “Chakotay.”  


	3. Chapter 3

He gathered her in a hug and pressed their bodies tightly together, wanting to feel every inch of her.  They were both shaking; she with the lingering tremors of her orgasm, and he with his urgent, aching need for the same.  His voice was a rumble against her chest.  “I want you, Kathryn.  I need you.”

She leaned her head back and reveled in the hunger evident on his face.  “Not yet.”

“Please!” he begged. 

She ran her hands down the taut muscles of his arms to his ribs until she found the top of his pants.  “When you take me, it will be with your soul.  Right now, I want your desire,” she purred.

She moved her lips to his neck and kissed a line from his chin to his shoulder, then ran her tongue under his collar bone.  Her fingers found the buckle of his belt.  She quickly had it undone, released the button, and lowered the zipper.  She let the slacks drop to the deck of the boat and he stepped out of them.  Her fingers squeezed him again through the material of his boxers, sliding over the hard lines of him.  She let him go and grabbed the top of his shorts, pulling the elastic over his manhood and pushing them down to his feet.  He stepped out of those, too, and kicked them to the side with a flick of his ankle.  She lowered him to the blanket before standing back up. 

“Please, Kathryn,” he gasped again.  He was losing his mind in the delicious pain of his arousal.  He wanted to grab her by the ankles, yank her down on top of him and drive hard into her.  His legs wouldn’t stay still and his hands dug into the soft blanket under him.  If the deck of the boat had been real rather than holographic, he would have left gouges in the surface. 

Kathryn watched his agony and marveled that she could have such an effect on him.  She used her toes to kick off each shoe, released her own slacks down her silky legs and pulled them off.  She grabbed the top of her white lace panties and heard him groan.  She slowly worked them down and tossed them to the side.  She placed her hands on her hips and ran them down the front of each thigh, unable to resist tantalizing him.  She slid just her nails back up the inside of her legs, along the lines beside her sex and up to her breasts.

“Oh, sweet Gods!”  The sight of her touching herself, of her pale skin glowing in the moonlight, of her womanhood now in full view, the sweeping curves of her nude body more sensual than he had ever imagined, was more than Chakotay could take.  She filled his vision as he grabbed his straining cock with one hand and squeezed tightly, his hips bucking upward, his other hand balling the cloth in his fist. 

Kathryn took pity on him and knelt at his feet.  She stretched her body out over his, sweeping her hard nipples over his legs and across the tip of his member.  She bent her head down and gently bit his nipple before moving to the other one.  She nipped that one, too, and then raked her tongue down his body as she curled back onto her knees. 

He was still holding his erection, stroking it slowly.  She licked the tip of it, eliciting a half-gasp, half-sob from his throat.  She replaced his hand with her own, continuing his rhythm for a brief few seconds before squeezing the base.   As she squeezed, she took him into her mouth and clamped her lips around him.  Her tongue circled his cock and licked up the shaft to the sensitive underside of the head before she opened her fingers and took all of him into the heat of her throat. 

“Kath…”  It was the only coherent sound he uttered before his breath left him.  His hips ground against her over and over.  He couldn’t stop them any more than he could halt the gravitational pull of a singularity.  She expertly matched him, humming softly on his ascent and sucking hungrily on his retreat.  He looked down and saw himself thrusting in and out of her, and Chakotay knew his control had flown completely.  Her wet sucking, the slide of her tongue up and down his shaft, the subtle vibrations as he hit the back of her throat, all worked in perfect harmony to hurl him headlong over the cliff. 

He felt the first flood wave rush through his body.  All he could do was warn her.  “I can’t stop, Kathryn!” he growled as he grabbed her head with his hands and tried to pull away from her.  She only clamped down harder and suckled him in the moist heat of her mouth.  His every desire, every want of her, every fleeting thought of her he had suppressed for so long exploded in his primal cry ringing through the holodeck.  Her hand and lips worked in time to the pumping of his spilling seed.  His orgasm seared through his nerves to his very bones, culminating in a white flash behind his eyes.  He cried out again and lifted them both halfway off the blanket with the power of his release.  Just when he thought it would never stop, that he was lost forever in the shattering of time and space, his convulsions began to slow.  She slowed with him, lessening her pressure around him.  Finally, when she felt him soften between her lips, she gently slid him out of her mouth, kissed the head lightly, and slithered her way back up his body.

Kathryn lay beside him and rested her head on his shoulder, pulling his arm over her side.  She looked up into his face and smiled languidly.  His heart still pounded in his chest and his entire body had melted in in a quivering puddle.  “Great heavens, woman,” he panted.  “What did you do to me?”

“Mmmm,” she sighed.  “I was only returning the favor.  Did you like it?”

“I didn’t know it was possible to feel that way.  I am not as young as I used to be, you know.  I’m wondering if I need to call the Doctor to get my heart beat back to normal.”  He took a deep, shuddering breath.  “I’ve never done that before,” he panted.

Her eyebrows lifted in surprise.  She rose up her elbow and looked down at him.  “You have _never_ had a woman do that?” she asked. 

“I didn’t mean that.  It’s just that the times before, they always stopped before, well…”

“Before you came?” she completed his sentence.

Chakotay laughed softly.  “Yeah, that.”  He grinned at her.

“What? You can do it but you can’t say it?” she teased. 

He chuckled again.  “It just sounded so… so crass in my head.”

“Chakotay, I am not a prude,” she insisted playfully, an impish half-grin on her face.

He caressed her cheek, growing serious, and told her, “I have and always will have the greatest respect for you, Kathryn.  I can’t explain it.  You are the strongest woman I have ever known, but still I feel an obligation to protect you from the harshness in life as much as I can.  I know I can’t shield you from the Delta Quadrant, and I can’t take on your burdens of your ship and your crew.  But I can, as much as possible, deflect some of the worst.”  He smiled softly at her.  “Even when that worst is me.” 

She leaned over to give him a long, lingering kiss, tenderness returning now that the immediacy of their passion was not consuming them.  She rose up again and pressed her palm to his chest just over his heart.  “I have needed you more than you know to share my burdens.  Not to remove them, but to share them with me.  And I admit that I have known, and sometimes felt guilty, that you were deflecting what you could from me.  I have asked you to give me everything and more, and you have never hesitated in doing so.  I have demanded more from you than any being has a right to demand from another.” 

She lowered her eyes from his.  “I have also required of you to hide your true self, your true feelings, from myself and from the crew.  No longer, Chakotay.  I will not ask you to hide any part of yourself from me again.  From the crew, maybe, for a time, but not from me.”  She looked at him again, wanting to read his eyes and the life behind them.  “Intimacy is never crass when it is with the one you love.”

Against his will, a tear escaped the corner of his eyelashes after hearing her words.  She had said, “the one you love.”  But it was not the same to him.  He needed to hear her say it, _really_ say it.  He cupped her cheek in his hand, a gentle pressure of his thumb on her chin keeping her in place where he could stare into the deep blue of her gaze.  “Do you?” he asked her softly.

She returned his stare, brushed her fingers lightly across his brow and down the line of his jaw, and confirmed with absolute conviction, “I love you, Chakotay.” 

He ran his hand through the soft hair at her temple.  “Kathryn, I love you, too.” 

There was nothing left to say.  She lowered her head to his shoulder again, the weight of his arm over her side pulling her into the safety and sanctuary of this man that loved her with his whole being.  As quietly as she could, she instructed the computer to return the boat to the dock.  Those minutes it took to make the trip, locked away here with the soft breeze playing over her naked body and the warmth of him solid and real underneath her, were the most content she had spent in her life.  His words to her on that evening back on New Earth replayed unbidden in her mind.  She finally understood in the depths of her very core what he had meant by the “true meaning of peace.”

Chakotay felt the boat slow to a stop, and he glanced over Kathryn’s shoulder.  They were at the shore, the wooden dock visible through the little ship’s railing.  He rose up, careful to cradle her head on his arm.  With his other hand, he trailed a light finger over the strong features of her cheek bone and jaw and down to her chin.  “I don’t want to leave,” he told her softly.  “I want to stay here with you forever.” 

She sat up and placed her delicate hand on the back of his neck.  Suddenly, her eyebrow quirked upward and she crooned, “Oh, we’re not leaving yet.”  She reached behind her and groped for her shirt.  She pulled it over her head then stood up.  “Oh!” she cried, bending over with her hands on her thighs.  Alarmed, he started toward her.  She held up her hand and let out a throaty laugh.  “I’m okay.  I guess I don’t recover as quickly as I used to, either.”

He grinned knowingly, then stood up and placed his hand on the small of her back.  When she straightened up again, he kissed her.  He loved the silky feel of her shirt as he slid his hand down to her barely covered buttocks.  “What did you mean ‘we are not leaving yet’?” he asked.

She kissed him back, more forcefully but briefly.  “We still have a few hours before our duty shifts begin.  And there is a lovely little cabin sitting over there.”  She nodded her head toward the small rise and squeezed his hand.  “It would be a shame to waste it.”

His eyes darkened again and he felt a twinge somewhere in the center of his body.  He laughed at the surprise of it.  Only she could awaken him so quickly after the shattering release he had experienced just a short time ago. 

Kathryn was gathering up the rest of her clothing, but she didn’t put it on.  She started off the boat with her bundle in one hand and the picnic basket in other.  The scalloped hem of her white blouse brushed lightly along the very tops of each leg as she stepped. 

“Gods, you are beautiful!” he called after her.  It felt so good to finally say those words out loud to her.  She turned slightly toward him, looking over her shoulder.  He could see uncertainty briefly play across her face.  This deepened personal relationship was still very new for the both of them, but he understood that it would take her longer to fully let go of her barriers and open up to him. 

Then she smiled, a glint in her eye signaling her receptiveness.  “And you, my handsome warrior,” her alto spoke, “are all mine.”  Kathryn turned back and started off across the lake shore toward the path to the cabin.

Chakotay quickly pulled on his boxers, gathered the rest of his clothing in a bundle as she had done, and swept up the blanket and champagne bottle off the deck of the boat.  He followed in her wake, letting his eyes roam over the back of her from her tiny bare feet lightly sinking in the sand, to the sway of her silk-clad hips, to the waves of her long auburn hair bouncing with her step.  _Oh, sweet Spirits, no. We are not leaving yet,_ he thought to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Kathryn led Chakotay up the pebbled walkway and into the holodeck cabin.  She placed the picnic basket on the little round table just inside the door and stepped to the center of the room.  The main space contained a tiny kitchenette with a replicator and the table, and a sitting area with a sofa and a couple of side tables facing a fireplace.  There was a bathroom and bedroom in the back.  She glanced at the bed, glad to see that it was large and soft and not a simple one-person cot. 

Chakotay set the champagne beside the basket and tossed the blanket over the arm of the sofa.  “I know you can forget to eat for hours at a time, but I’m starved.  Why don’t you relax, Katie, and I’ll bring you a plate.” 

She turned toward him with her hands on her hips.  “Did you just call me ‘Katie’?” she asked.

“What?  I like ‘Katie’.” 

She smiled.  “So do I, but I don’t think you should get into the habit, even in private.  The crew doesn’t seem to pay attention when you occasionally call me Kathryn.  However, I think asking them to get used to ‘Katie’ is a bit much.”

He thought about it for a second and then smirked at her.  “I guess you’re right.  Responding to a battle command with, ‘Yes ma’am, Katie!’ just wouldn’t do, would it?” 

She laughed as she lowered herself to the couch and leaned back into the pillows, pushing her legs out in front of her.  She stretched her arms over her head and arched her back before collapsing into the cushions.  “This is nice,” she sighed.

Chakotay watched her cat-like stretch and how the tail of her shirt rose up her body, catching the briefest glimpse between her legs before the silky material pooled in her lap again.  Clearing his throat, he reached into the picnic basket and began loading fruit onto the plates.  Suddenly, he wasn’t nearly as hungry for food as he had been.  He cleared his throat a second time while pouring two glasses of champagne.  He handed Kathryn her plate and glass before settling beside her, willing himself to keep his eyes on a strawberry until his thoughts were under control. 

“Thank you,” she told him.  “If it weren’t for you and Neelix, the Doctor would probably order me to endure daily force feeding.” 

They sat in silence for a while as they finished the light meal.  It was a comfortable quiet.  They had, after all, shared many meals together over the years in the mess hall, at Neelix’s little morale-boosting parties, and even in her private quarters.  Kathryn realized there was a difference this time.  It didn’t feel just comfortable.  It felt _natural_ , like this was what they were supposed to be doing; this was exactly how they were meant to be living their lives, confirmed in their love for each other. 

She felt the sting of tears in her eyes and tried to blink them back.  She had almost lost this, lost him – if not through her death back on the planet, then through her own stubbornness and denial.  She set her plate on the table beside her and covered her face with her hands. 

Chakotay watched the emotions grip her.  He saw the tears glistening on her face and the trembling in her fingers as she tried to hide them.  Quietly, he set down his own plate and reached across the space between them.  He pulled her to him and wrapped her in his arms, resting his cheek atop her head.  He longed to say something, but he knew her too well.  He would have to give her time to gather herself, and so he waited for her cue.

Finally, Kathryn turned her head against his chest.  “I’m sorry,” she muttered.  “I’m not being very romantic, am I?”

“It’s okay, love.  Just tell me what’s wrong,” he said as he rubbed her back. 

“That’s just it,” she sighed.  “Nothing is wrong.  Everything is exactly right.”  She tipped her head back and looked into his face.  “Right here, right now, with you beside me and your arms around me – I can forget what is on the other side of that arch.  Forget the stress and strain of our existence here; forget that we are stranded in the Delta Quadrant and may never see home again; forget that I have almost 150 people depending on me for their very lives.  With you, I am simply Kathryn.”  She smiled softly.  “I am your Katie.  I know in my heart that this is the _real us_ , how we are meant to be.”

Chakotay ran his hand under her hair to the nape of her neck and leaned down to kiss her.  He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, her cheek, and finally her soft lips.  He gently wiped away the trail of her tears with his thumb.  “I love you, Kathryn,” he told her softly.  “You are my heart and my life.  Whatever awaits us on the other side of that exit arch, we will face together.  I have to believe to the depths of my soul that our love only makes us stronger.  Together, joined by our duty and also by this unbreakable bond, we can be totally and completely what Voyager and her crew need us to be.  In all the uncertainty we face each day, this one constant will stand true for all of us.”

She pulled herself onto his lap and kissed him, the warmth of his lips and the affirmation of his words ringing through her body.  She tangled her fingers in his hair and held him to her, her need for him enveloping them both.  When she finally broke free to breathe, she slid off the sofa, started toward the bedroom, and huskily called to him, “Come with me.”

Her words were like puppet strings pulling him out of his seat and along in her steps.  Once again, a tingling warmth flushed his body.  He watched as she lay back on the bed and pulled one knee up slightly, holding her arms out for him to lie between them.   Slowly, he crept up from the foot of the bed until his weight was resting along her side, careful not to crush her.  She slid her foot over his leg, her bare thigh brushing over his.  Her blouse had risen up again, and he could feel her against his hip.  He let out a soft moan as he remembered what the heat felt like in his hand when she had finally let go and cried his name. 

Chakotay was instantly hard and instead of hiding it this time, he pressed it against her leg under him, wanting her to feel his need.  She thrust back, digging her fingers into the muscles of his shoulders and locking her mouth over his.  She caressed his tongue with her own and pulled his full weight down on her.  Oh yes, she wanted him!  Longed to feel every inch of him against her, on top of her, inside of her. 

She broke the kiss and moved her lips to his earlobe, lightly sucking on it before biting his neck.  She could feel his heart pounding, his chest rising and falling against hers with his rapid breathing.  She lay her head back on the soft pillow and scratched her nails up his strong back, thrusting her center against him.  “Take me, Chakotay,” she panted in his ear.  “I want you inside me!”

Chakotay rose up on his knees, ran his hands under the silky blouse and began to slide it off her.  She sat up and lifted her arms for him.  When the shirt was free, he reached up and removed the gold barrette from her hair, watching the soft wisps fall across her face and over the tops of her breasts.  He swept her hair over her shoulder and leaned over and sucked her nipple into his mouth.  The sound of her gasp spurred him on as he took her other breast in his hand and circled his thumb over her hard nipple.  He felt her grab the band of his shorts and slide them over his buttocks to his knees.  He worked them down his legs with one hand while running his tongue over her chest and to her throat.  He gently pushed her back onto the pillow and balanced on his knees.  He wanted to see every inch of her curves, and he let his eyes roam her toned body, fixing the image in his mind.  Oh yes, she was beautiful, and she was all his! 

He ended his visual voyage over her nakedness, staring into the cobalt blue of her eyes.  He held her gaze and saw the fire in them, her lust drowning him in a delicious free fall into his love for her.  He wanted to set her aflame, to hear her cry out in passion, to make her shatter beneath him in complete abandon. 

His fingertips trailed up her inner thigh, stopping just short of her sex before moving to the other thigh. “Ahh.”  The throaty moan escaped her as Kathryn lifted off the bed.  He shifted lower on the bed and followed the lightning bolts of his touch with his breath, blowing gently along the sensitive skin of her legs.  He reached the joining of her thighs and directed a long, soft breath across her clit.  He watched the tiny goose bumps travel in all directions across her writhing body.  When he saw her hands clench the bed cover, he darted his tongue out and tasted her.  She sucked in her breath with a sharp hiss, a sound that rocked his body with a plasma explosion of desire.  He straightened his legs out behind him until he could grind his hardness into the bed, hoping the pressure would give him some relief.

He slid the flat of his tongue over her clit, then again, and a third time, until her hands clamped around his head and pulled him to her.  He pushed into her slit and used his hands under her buttocks to position her so he could get as far into her as possible.  He curled his tongue inside her to press against the tissue at the opening.

Kathryn couldn’t stop herself from groaning over and over again as she felt Chakotay sliding in and out of her sex.  He licked up the wet crease until he found her clit again, the pressure of her hands and the volume of her moans telling him when he had the right spot.  “Yesss!” she hissed.  She held his head in place and ground her clit against his tongue.  Suddenly, she reached down to his shoulders and began tugging him up to her.  “Please, Chakotay, make love to me!”

He pushed his way up the bed and braced himself with one arm, his body hovering just above hers.  With his other hand, he guided himself to her opening, barely sliding the tip into her, then back out and up to her sensitive clit.  He teased her there, slowly rubbing the length of his hardness over it.  He loved that he could make her hot and wet for him, and soon his own desire could no longer be denied.  “Kathryn,” he growled to her, calling her eyes to his.  When their gazes locked, he guided himself lower to opening of her heat. 

“Yes,” she purred to him.

“I love you,” Chakotay whispered as he gently entered her.  He paused, allowing her time to adjust to him inside of her as she gasped.  When he felt her envelop him, he was lost in a turbulence of white-hot passion, of needs too long locked away, and in the affirmation that he longed to spend the rest of his life with this woman who was so incredibly strong and incredibly vulnerable at the same time.  He began a slow dance in and out of her, feeling her match his rhythm as she opened up more and more of herself to him.  When she closed her eyes and strengthened her grip around him, he bent down to kiss her neck and suck in that little spot just under her earlobe that she had shown him earlier.  He felt the tiny vibrations in her throat as she began to whimper her need.

With his first gentle thrust into her, Kathryn had gasped partly in ecstasy and partly in pain.  It had been so long since she had let a man touch her.  When she felt Chakotay pause to allow her to get used to him inside of her, she loved him even more.  No other partner had ever been as considerate of her own needs.  It was that very nature in Chakotay that had captured her from the beginning: his kindness and compassion.  Together with him, their coupling was not that of a man conquering a woman.  Neither did it feel like she was the conqueror, as she had felt with timid Mark.  They were equals, two passions joining to soar new heights together.  She could give herself completely to this man because he would give her no less.

When her mind finally relaxed and let go of the mild pain, so did her body.  She opened up to him fully, her longing for him washing over her and igniting a corona around her core.  She quickened her pace, each thrust of her hips taking more of him.  She pulled her knees back and placed her heels on each of his thighs.  She shifted slightly underneath him as he pulled back, and with the beginning of his next push she used the pressure of her heels and her hands on his sides to drive him to the hilt deep inside her.

“Sweet heavens!” Chakotay cried into her neck.  He paused deep inside her, fighting for control as his toes dug into the bed.  His muscles clenched and his knuckles turned white.  He could feel her breasts underneath him, the soft skin of her naked stomach against his, the heat of her thighs wrapped around him.  He took short, shallow breaths, willing a tentative calm into the storm threatening to overtake him. When he could trust that a single further thrust wouldn’t send him over the edge, he began his slide in and out of her body again. 

Kathryn’s senses intensified even as everything around her faded away.  There was only Chakotay.  She saw the rise and fall of his strong back, heard the incoherent noises of passion coming from both of them, smelled the scent of sex and her own oils, tasted the beads of sweat forming on his neck as she licked him, and felt the sweet sear of her nerves as she drew closer to climax.  She rocked her hips, attempting to take him even deeper and positioning herself so that each drive into her brushed the small of his stomach against her swollen clit.  She panted into his ear, “Take me, my love.  Harder!”

Chakotay was losing his struggle for control over his burning need.  He gripped her thighs as he drove harder into her, following her call.  He moved his hands up the bed, braced them on each side of her shoulders and raised his chest, altering the angle of his entry even deeper.  She pulled her knees back further, taking all of him, needing all of him, her body crying out to be filled.  “Yes!” she hissed.  “Aahh!  I’m so close, Chakotay!”

“Come with me, Kathryn,” he called to her.  She reached her hand between their bodies and found her clit with the pads of her fingers.

“That’s it, baby,” he groaned.  “Come with me.” 

Her cries grew louder, the walls of her sex beginning to clench around him pulling him to the edge with her.  He looked down and watched the jerking of her hand across the little button, seeing himself driving in and out of her, his cock glistening with her juices.  It was the sexiest image he had ever seen, and his hold over his body left him.  Kathryn felt him expand inside her and knew he was only seconds from orgasm.  Her neck arched, her head dug into the pillow and her legs spasmed against him.  With the first wave through her stomach, she curled forward and cried out, “I’m coming!”

Time and space disappeared in the singularity of her cry.  He jerked into her rippling center once, and again, and then was lost in the white flash of his release.  They rode the slipstream together, one body, one heart, and one soul joined by so much more than mere love.  Kathryn crumpled back into the bedding, Chakotay following her, their cries singing to together as their bodies continued to shake and tremble with their shared orgasm. 

Finally, the echoes quieted and the spinning slowed, the rest of the world beyond their joining coming into focus again.  When he could trust his neck to hold up his head, Chakotay rose slightly and kissed her long and slow before rolling off of her.  He lay on his back and pulled her over to him.  They stayed like that for several minutes, her head on his shoulder, her leg resting over his, his arm stretched along her ribs.  He kissed the top of her head and moved his hand up smooth her hair away from her face.  He felt the rumble in her chest as she sighed, “Mmmm.”

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.  “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Kathryn tipped her head to look into his face.  “It was perfect,” she purred in her throaty alto.  


	5. Chapter 5

Kathryn slid her fingers under his shoulder and hugged him tightly.  At the same time, they both said, “I love you!”  She giggled and then released her hold on him.  “Computer,” she sighed, “what time is it?”

“The time is 0430 hours,” came the reply.

“We have an hour and a half before I start taking bridge communications again,” she said.  “I think it would be prudent for us to return to our quarters for a shower and change of clothes.”  She smiled lazily at him.  “Have breakfast with me before our shifts start?”

He groaned as he sat up, rubbing his legs.  “I think I can skip my workout today.”  He grinned back at her.  “I will eat breakfast with you every day for the rest of my life.” 

Kathryn stood up and began to dress, this time putting all of her clothing back on.  She walked into the bathroom and shut the door, returning in a few moments with a hair brush.  “This is impossible,” she laughed as sat on the bed and tried to work the bristles through the tangles in her long hair. 

Chakotay finished slipping on his shoes then came up behind her.  “Here, let me help,” he said as he took the brush from her.  He gently worked out the knots, starting at the bottom and moving his way up her auburn waves until he had them mostly tamed.  He chuckled suddenly.  “Do you have any idea how many times I have wanted to do this?” he asked her. 

“What? To brush my hair?” she asked with amusement.

“To brush it, to touch it, to feel it tickle across my skin.  I love when you wear it down, but you so rarely do so.”

“Chakotay!” she admonished mockingly.  “Have you been harboring impure thoughts about your captain?”

He bent down and smelled her hair, letting his hands drift down the front of her shoulders and under the neck of her blouse.  “Oh, yes,” he sighed.  “Impure, impertinent, and completely impish.”

She laughed again, the music of it tugging at his heart.  “Right now, my dear, we have duties to return to,” she told him.  She slid herself out of his grasp and straightened her clothing, deciding to put her barrette in her pocket.  “Meet me in my quarters in 0600,” she told him as she started for the door.  “I’ll have your breakfast ready.  I really am hungry, this time.”

She left the cabin, and Chakotay gathered up the blanket and their picnic items.  He couldn’t stop grinning to himself as he checked the rooms for anything left behind.  He stepped out onto the stone walkway toward the exit arch and took one last look across the water, the holo-moon still shining softly.  _We never did take that swim_ , he thought to himself.  _I guess we will just have to come back_.

They both managed to make it to their respective quarters without being seen in the early morning hour.  Kathryn longed for a bath but knew she did not have the time for it.  She stepped into the sonic shower instead, taking particular care with her hair.  She was sore and probably would be for a couple of days, but the minor pain only brought a smile to her face at the memory of why she hurt.  She was pretty sure she had a bruise on the back of her left thigh where he had gripped her particularly hard.  She remembered begging him, “Harder!”  In the throes of passion, she had forgotten how strong he truly was.  She rubbed the spot gingerly and wondered if she had left any marks on him.

Her door chimed at exactly 0600, and she called him in.  They were both back in uniform and already half-slipping into their professional personas.  Chakotay waited for the door to swish shut behind him, then crossed the room to her, grabbed her left buttock, and pulled her into a kiss.  When he let her go, he caught the briefest wince on her face.  “What’s wrong?” he asked with concern. 

“It’s nothing,” she assured him with a smile.  “Just a small bruise.”

“I _did_ hurt you!”

“No, my dear, you most certainly did not,” she told him as she trailed her fingers down his cheek.  “It will be gone in a day or two.  I think my delicate constitution can handle it.” 

He smiled sheepishly at her.  It was a bit ridiculous for him to try to coddle her over a contusion when she risked life and limb so frequently and without fear.  He moved his hand to the small of her back and kissed her again.  He never wanted to stop kissing her, or telling her how much he loved her, or making her smile.  He was happier than he had ever been in his life, and the knowledge that she felt the same way thrilled him.

“We should eat,” Kathryn mumbled into his neck.  “We don’t have much time.”

They moved to the table and she retrieved bowls of oatmeal from the replicator, then black coffee for her and hot tea for Chakotay.  Chakotay had brought the leftover fruit and bread from the basket.  They were both ravenous and soon finished their meal.  Kathryn leaned back in her chair, wrapped her hands around her coffee cup, and simply stared at him.  She traced the lines of his face with her eyes, the strong jaw, those high cheekbones, the tribal mark above his eyebrow, and the dark pool of his eyes drawing her into a realm of peace and comfort.  She knew they needed to talk about things, about how their personal relationship would work in tandem with their professional one, and how and when to tell the crew.  There would be time for that later.  For now, she simply rested in his presence.

Chakotay saw her lingering gaze and knew she was thinking, as he had been, of all they had to work out.  It _would_ work out because he refused to lose her.  _Is it too soon to ask her to marry me_ , he wondered. 

Kathryn broke the silence.  “Bridge time,” she sighed.  They cleared away their dishes, brushing against each other at every chance, her fingers trailing across his shoulders as she went past him, his hand resting on her back as he leaned across her to pick up his cup.  The duty shift would be torture today!

They stopped side-by-side at her door, glanced at each other, then allowed their years of training and experience to take over and transform them back into Captain and Commander.  They stepped into the hallway, made their way to the turbolift and exited on the bridge, maintaining a respectful distance from each other.  Chakotay walked to his chair and sat down.  Kathryn greeted the officers with a “Good morning,” and then, “Report.”

“All systems are functioning normally, Captain,” Tuvok answered. 

She nodded.  “Good,” she said.  “Maintain present course and speed.”  She walked to her command chair and sat down, not daring to look at Chakotay yet.  She picked up the PADDs waiting for her and glanced over the reports of inventories, operations, and one from engineering on the repairs made to the gel pack the evening before. 

Chakotay’s mind was reeling.  He tried to steel himself to force his concentration on his duties and push away the images of Kathryn’s naked body.  Each time he relaxed in his chair, the sting of the scratches she had left on his back recalled the heat of being inside her and their shared climax.  He wanted to stand up and shout to everyone that he was in love with Kathryn Janeway, that she loved him, that he wanted her to be his wife and she was his Katie now and always.  He was euphoric and he longed to yell it to the whole crew.  Instead, he stared at the screen in front of him as if his life depended on the data display.  Oh, it was going to be long day! 

Kathryn could barely contain herself with him sitting so close to her, within arm’s reach.  She wanted to lean over and brush her fingers down his arm, hold his hand, gaze into the deep space of his eyes.  They still had not so much as glanced at each other.  Attempting to appear to be engrossed in the engineering report, she stood and turned away from him.  “I will be in my ready room.  You have the bridge, Commander.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered. 

She caught the slight husk in his voice and knew he was having as much difficulty as she was.  As she walked to the doorway of her ready room, a yellow light appeared on Chakotay’s screen alerting him to the scheduled senior staff meeting in one hour.  He had been staring so intently at the display for distraction that the alert startled him.  Without thinking, he called out, “Oh, Katie!”

Kathryn froze in her tracks.  _Oh Gods, he did it!_ she thought to herself.  She turned slowly, noting that every eye of the other bridge officers was staring at her, awaiting her reaction.  She placed her empty hand on her hip, steadied her voice, and asked, “What did you call me, Commander?”

Chakotay looked up at her as he replayed the words in his head.  His eyes went wide, his hand flew over his mouth, and he stuttered, “I’m sorry, Kathryn!  I mean, Captain!  Um, ma’am.” 

He looked so mortified that it took every microgram of her iron will not to dissolve in a fit of laughter.    She raised her eyebrow, gave him a half-smirk, and responded, “Kathryn Captain ma’am is a bit unwieldy, Commander.  I believe a simple ‘Captain’ will suffice.”

“Yes, Captain!” he clipped sharply.

Kathryn executed a precision turn on her heels, but as she did so she flashed him a perfectly-timed wink that only he could see.  Well, he and Mr. Paris, who was at the helm.  She had decided she didn’t care if Tom saw it, though.  The crew would find out about their relationship soon enough, anyway. 

Kathryn entered her ready room and waited for the doors to close.  She clapped a hand over her mouth just as Chakotay had done, trying to stifle her laughter so no one would hear.  When she had her girlish giggles under control, she walked to the replicator, ordered coffee, and reclined sideways on the sofa.  She was still grinning as she gazed out the window, watching the millions of stars flying past.  Somehow, stranded in the Delta Quadrant thousands of light-years from home, she had found her soul mate.  She was in love and unbelievably happy.  “Oh, yes, Chakotay” she said softly to herself.  “This is going to be fun!”


End file.
